How I Learned to Trust Myself Again by Doing the Scary Thing
I’m sitting at the airport as I write this. Solo. Headed out on another adventure I used to be too scared to even imagine.
There was a time I never would have done this. The thought of navigating travel alone made me spiral — What if I got lost? What if I couldn’t figure out the logistics? What if something happened and I didn’t know what to do?
The truth is, I didn’t trust myself yet. Not with safety. Not with my decisions. Not even with small things, like picking the right hostel or asking for directions.
But that version of me? She’s not who I am anymore.
And if you’ve ever doubted yourself too — if you’ve ever played small or stayed stuck because it felt safer — I want to tell you what I wish I had known all those years ago:
You don’t build self-trust by waiting to feel ready. You build it by showing up when you’re not — and proving to yourself, over and over again, that you can handle it.
The Day I Started to Trust Myself
One of my biggest turning points wasn’t solo travel, actually — it was being asked to cohost a retreat in Guatemala.
I was honored, of course… but also terrified. I wasn’t the “leader” type, right? That was always someone else. I was used to having a partner like Austin to lean on. But this time? It was on me.
Then it happened: one of the girls on the trip got altitude sickness after ziplining. People started moving on with the day, but I could see she wasn’t okay. So I made a call. I ran out, bought Gatorade, and sat with her. Nursed her back to health. Stayed calm.
It wasn’t dramatic or flashy. But it was one of those quiet moments where I realized…
“I can trust myself.”
I did know what to do. I could handle the unexpected. And I didn’t need anyone’s permission to step into leadership.
The Steps That Helped Me Trust Myself
Looking back, there were a few key shifts that made this possible. If you’re in a season of rebuilding belief in yourself, especially after trauma, burnout, or years of deferring to others — these might help:
1. Start small, and keep promises to yourself.
Self-trust doesn’t magically appear. It’s like a muscle — and it grows every time you say, “I’ll do this,” and then actually do it. Whether that’s showing up for a daily walk, speaking up in a meeting, or booking a train ticket alone.
2. Let fear come with you.
I used to think I had to wait until I felt fearless to do bold things. Nope. Courage is doing it scared. Your brain learns safety through experience, not avoidance.
3. Reflect on your wins.
I used to blow past the things I did well, constantly hyper-focused on what I should have done better. Now I journal my small wins — like problem-solving in another language, helping a sick traveler, or guiding a workshop I built from scratch.
4. Be where your feet are.
You’re not supposed to have it all figured out. Being present with whatever you can do right now — even if that’s just showing up tired, unsure, or overwhelmed — builds a deep well of self-respect.
Today, I’m the Kind of Woman Who…
✅ Creates trainings rooted in neuroscience and mindset
✅ Speaks on virtual stages in front of thousands
✅ Travels solo and figures it out as I go
✅ Knows that if something goes wrong, I will handle it
And here’s the wild part: none of this started with confidence.
It started with being willing to try anyway.
I had to unlearn the conditioning that told me I wasn’t capable. That I needed someone else to guide me. That I had to earn the right to trust myself.
You don’t. You can start now.
Looking for more resources? Start here.
What I’d Say to the Old Me (And Maybe You, Too)
“You are so much more capable than you realize. You’ve been taught to doubt yourself and your instincts, but you can do it. Don’t let fear hold you back — test your limits, take risks, live out loud. And watch as you build this beautiful, bold life one choice at a time.”
Ready to Start Rebuilding Trust in Yourself?
I created a free Trust Your Gut Decision-Making Guide for people just like you — the ones learning to come back home to themselves after years of self-doubt.
💌 Grab it here
Inside, you’ll get science-backed tools to help you make aligned decisions without spiraling into second-guessing.
If this post resonated with you, I’d love to hear your story. What’s something you once thought you could never do — and did anyway?
Let’s keep rewriting the narrative that says we need someone else to lead us.
You’ve got this.
And I’m cheering for you, always. 💛
