The Subconscious Beliefs Holding You Back (and How to Rewire Them)
We all carry stories—silent beliefs we didn’t choose, but somehow adopted as truth.
“I’m too much.”
“I’m not enough.”
“Other people get to live freely, but I can’t.”
“I’ll feel better once I accomplish __.”
“If I slow down, I’ll fall apart.”
Most of these stories don’t shout. They whisper. They hide in our choices, our patterns, our resistance. And until we bring them to the surface, they’ll quietly run the show.
What Are Subconscious Beliefs?
Subconscious beliefs are stories we tell ourselves that are stored beneath conscious awareness, shaped by past experiences, trauma, culture, and repetition. You might not think you believe them, but your actions often reveal otherwise.
For example:
- You want peace—but you keep saying yes to everything. You feel resentment building, but still agree to plans, favors, or deadlines that overwhelm you. The hidden belief? I’m only valuable if I’m useful. Rest means I’m lazy or letting people down.
- You want to lose weight—but you find yourself stress-eating after a long day, mindlessly snacking, or “starting over” every Monday. Underneath, your brain may still believe: Food is my comfort. Losing weight is too hard. I can’t eat food I enjoy and lose weight. I have to starve myself to lose weight. I can’t trust my body. I’ll fail anyway, so why bother?
- You want to leave a job or pivot your career—but you stall, doubt, or sabotage your progress. You tell yourself “It’s not the right time,” even when it’s been years. Your story might be: It’s irresponsible to want more. I should be grateful for what I have. I will never find anything better. I am not good enough.
- You want deep love—but you keep choosing emotionally unavailable partners or pushing good people away. Deep inside, a part of you may believe: Real intimacy isn’t safe. I’ll lose myself or get hurt.
That’s not sabotage. That’s survival. It’s your brain running old code that once felt protective.
The Neuroscience Behind These Beliefs
Your brain is wired to keep you safe, not happy. And safety, to your nervous system, equals familiarity (even if that familiarity is stress, people-pleasing, burnout, or chaos).
Every time you repeat a behavior or reaction, you strengthen the neural pathway behind it. That’s called Hebb’s Law: “neurons that fire together wire together.” Over time, those patterns become automatic—and the beliefs that fuel them get stored deep in your subconscious.
So when you try to do something new or bold or freeing? Your brain interprets that unfamiliarity as risk.
Even if it’s good for you. Even if it’s what you consciously want.
How I Started Unraveling My Own Subconscious Beliefs
When I first started living and working unconventionally—traveling full time, leaving the traditional career path, building a life that felt authentic—I didn’t realize how many subconscious beliefs I had to challenge.
Things like:
- “You need to suffer to succeed.”
- “You can’t trust yourself to stay consistent.”
- “If it’s not hard, it’s not valuable.”
- “As a woman I can’t be making money.”
- “All women struggle with their weight.”
These beliefs weren’t logical—but they felt real. And every time I hit a wall in my mindset, I had to get curious.
What story am I believing right now?
Who taught me this?
What would I choose to believe instead?
This is exactly what I unpack in my mini podcast series on the mindset shifts that helped me break free from convention and find peace in a more aligned life.
How to Identify and Rewire the Subconscious Beliefs Holding You Back
You don’t need to be a neuroscientist to work with your brain—you just need to understand how it learns.
Here’s a starting place:
1. Notice the Pattern
Where do you keep hitting the same wall? Same sabotage? Same shame spiral?
Ask yourself: What must I believe, deep down, for this pattern to make sense?
2. Get Curious, Not Critical
That belief probably protected you once. Maybe it helped you survive a chaotic home, a high-pressure job, a critical caregiver. Acknowledge the purpose it once served.
Compassion calms the nervous system. And when your brain feels safe, it’s more willing to let go of old wiring. (read more on that here)
3. Rewire with Repetition and Emotion
Your brain learns through repetition + emotion. Start introducing new beliefs intentionally:
- “I am allowed to trust myself.”
- “My value doesn’t depend on how much I produce.”
- “Freedom doesn’t mean failure.”
Say them often. Say them when your body feels calm. Say them while walking or breathing deeply. Anchor them with action.
You Don’t Need to Fight Your Brain—You Need to Work With It
The goal isn’t to force your way out of these stories. It’s to rewrite them. Gently. Repeatedly. With love.
That’s how change lasts.
Because once your subconscious starts to believe something new—once your brain and body feel safe with that new belief—it stops feeling like effort. And starts feeling like truth.
Reflective Journal Prompt:
What is one belief you’ve been carrying that no longer serves the life you want to create?
Where did it come from?
What would it look like to replace it with something more compassionate—and true?
