Finding Power and Femininity in My Own Space
For a long time, I wrestled with a question that felt impossible to answer: Who am I without the rules? Without the roles I was taught to play? Without the expectations that shaped every part of my identity?
Growing up, I never had the space to ask this question or explore the answer. My identity was wrapped tightly around being a “good” daughter, a faithful Christian, someone who followed the rules without question. The rules gave me structure, security—even if they sometimes felt suffocating.
But when those rules began to fall apart, when my faith started to shift and the container of certainty cracked wide open, I was left with a blank page—and a million fragments.
Who was I now?
Picking Up the Pieces and Starting Over
It was terrifying. I felt lost, isolated, and vulnerable. The roles and rules I had clung to for so long no longer fit, but I hadn’t yet figured out what did. I was suddenly faced with the responsibility to choose what parts of myself I wanted to keep—and what parts I was ready to let go.
This process was messy and slow. It wasn’t about simply rebelling against my past beliefs but about carefully sifting through what was authentic and life-giving for me.
And through this deconstruction, something unexpected happened.
The Power of Femininity: A Surprising Discovery
One of the most beautiful surprises on this journey has been stepping into my femininity—and realizing how powerful it really is.
In the environments I grew up in, femininity was often misunderstood or undervalued. Strength seemed tied to control, toughness, or traditionally masculine traits. But as I began to heal and grow, I started to see femininity not as weakness but as a different kind of power—one rooted in intuition, vulnerability, creativity, and deep resilience.
This aligns with what Devika Vidyaratna calls “The Power of Femininity”—a force that balances softness with fierceness, surrender with strength, and vulnerability with courage.
Embracing my femininity has allowed me to find my voice. It’s helped me step confidently into my truth, speak up for myself, and trust my inner guidance.
I’m no longer living by the scripts others wrote for me. I’m writing my own story.
Finding Confidence in My Own Voice
This journey has given me something I never had before: a real voice.
I’m learning to say no when something doesn’t serve me. I’m setting boundaries without guilt. I’m making choices rooted in what feels right for me—not what I was told was “right.”
And yes, this is scary sometimes. The uncertainty can be overwhelming. But it’s also freeing.
If you want to hear more about how I’m navigating this kind of personal transformation, you can check out my blog about going back to school—because stepping into new roles and shedding old identities happens in every part of life.
If You’re Asking, “Who Am I Without the Rules?”
I see you. I’ve been there.
It’s okay to feel unsure. It’s okay to feel like you’re falling apart—because really, you’re falling upward.
The space between what was and what’s next is messy and uncertain. But it’s also where true growth happens.
You might find parts of yourself you never knew existed. You might discover strengths in vulnerability or power in gentleness. You might find a voice you didn’t realize you had.
Journal Prompts for Your Own Journey
If you want to start exploring your own answers, here are some questions I’ve found helpful:
- What are the rules or roles I grew up with that no longer fit me?
- How did those rules shape my identity? What parts of that identity do I want to keep, and what parts am I ready to let go?
- What does strength mean to me now—beyond what I was taught?
- How can I create space in my life to listen to my own voice more fully?
